It's a dirty free for all

Friday, May 30, 2008
Smiley faces

I shall no longer groan and moan about how my mummy is clamping down on night activities and nagging continuously like shit. I hate it, but I'm not going to let her spoil my nice day. I just go on a stupid cold war and refuse to talk to her until like at least half an hour later, but oh well, for now... I'm so bloody pissed as usual, but I'm so not going to think about it. She offered to bring me to St. James but I'd rather go kill zombies and stone at home.

Anyway, today was again a wonderful day (if you don't think about how little I've accomplished in studying) =) Didn't start well because my phone's alarm rang right into my ear and made me jump awake at 830am, lesson learnt: not to sleep with your phone right beside your ear. Then I woke my brother up to download nice new songs for my MP3 cause I was getting so sick of the songs! And he happily did it for me =) Then I went to school and maho really bought the CHIPS MORE (it's correct okay =) and so I ate like more than 7 cookies so I'm quite sure I'm getting a sore throat tmr, but nvm. Then studied a tiny weeny bit then Sihui came and together with belle, we talked for erm, more than 1 hour I think, haha. Then ate some more cause she brought food from Hong Kong, and we left our nice cosy air-conditioned classroom to go to marine terrace to take passport photo! And guess what, it was closed on Fridays! But we still had the nice duck rice at the coffee shop. Yes I do go to coffee shops SOMETIMES. Then belle, maho, zong and I went to the fish shop to look at fish, I wanted to go see the worms but there were none =( After was back to v37 to study =) Must say that I became more efficient and ate more cookies. But we really talk a lot of crap and I really must say that I love spending time with v12 people cause we have endless things to say.

I really really need (the word has changed from want) to start shopping. Hopefully my daddy transfers my allowance to me like tonight =) then maybe some shopping in town after studying =)

In the last week or so, I actually learnt about a lot of things going on here and there and the people involved don't actually know what's happening and yet, here I am as a "by-stander" I know what happened and I can tell what's going to happen. I'm telling no one who don't know about it and what can I say, just watch... It's really a weird feeling.

xx Loved At 8:34 pm
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Wednesday, May 28, 2008
huh? *acts blur*

3rd day of studying and it feels shit already. Today was a lousy day in terms of studying. The school canteen is very not conducive since you'll keep seeing people you know and you'll start chit-chatting and talking crap and keep thinking of eating and drinking random stuff. Ya, it was nice to catch up with lots of people today starting with the table tennis girls and then 2 out of the 3 gays and belle with her choir friends, zonghe as usual and other random people here and there. But my brain didn't feel like functioning properly, alternating between studying and thinking "I'm hungry", "I want to go home", "It's raining again", "My butt is very painful from sitting", "Concentrate on studying la!". After sitting in the canteen from 830am to 615pm, going home was such a wonderful feeling okay. Didn't accomplish much but I don't care, I'll think about it tomorrow =(

And why do everyone laugh when I say I'm going to get arm muscles from shooting zombies! Today was stressed out playing 1 player missions. Damn shit la. My aiming obviously is horrible and I need my brother to help me kill things when I'm reloading, and no one is covering for me when I slowly decide which gun to use, and how on earth am I supposed know that a shot-gun is only good when you shot at extremely near stuff! Today I realised I could throw grenades and I went happy randomly throwing them all over the place and making my brother say thanks whenever I blast lots of zombies =)

Super sleepy and my sore throat is going crazy again, will try to kill more zombies before sleeping =)

xx Loved At 8:49 pm
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Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Cut the slit higher

I'm going to have nice right forearm muscles from playing Wii okay! My brother finally bought the Resident Evil game and we killed zombies and very funny creatures for 1 hour plus =) and my mummy says I did more screaming than actually shooting the zombies, oh well, that's why I have a brother to help me shoot the zombies right! My stupid arm is aching like shit now but it doesn't matter because shooting random ugly-looking stuffs is fun =) And considering I'm still alive with just 2 hours of sleep, lots of walking this morning, studying the whole afternoon, tv in the evening, and playing Wii just now. I really want to sleep right now but I'm persuading my brother to come camp in my room tonight because zombies are scary. And I have to go school tmr morning. Like morning early early.

My brother got my song for me... grand theft autumn by fallout boy =) My MP3 is going to be on the "Repeat 1 song" mode =)

xx Loved At 10:42 pm
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Sunday, May 25, 2008
Life's about to change...

From stupid smiles to I don't know what...

So everything will change and I think its starting to sink in that I have to really study so much, I'm worried about what if I can't squash all that information into my head before A's, and what if I flunk CT2, I stare blankly at the whole pile of practice papers in front of me and I actually feel a tiny whiny bit scared and I start to read my totally foreign Econs notes if I can't sleep. It's a sure way to make you sleepy any time anyway. It's amazing how much lecture notes and tutorials there are, it sure didn't feel that way when I totally put everything down for season, and when I refused to come back from lala-land and start serious catching up.

I spent the whole weekend doing nothing constructive unless you count sleeping, watching tv, and shopping in orchard as that. And nice movies are coming out next week, and I want to watch them! I think there's Narnia and Sex and the City, but I think the theatres will be crazily full since they're both supposedly going to be hits and the newspapers are advertising for advance booking tickets or whatever they'll called.

Oh and the weather today is so much better like finally =)

I finally remembered the name of this song that I forgot about when my MP3 player went crazy that time by fall out boy. So am very happy. Now I need someone to send me the song. haha.

Bye CO people, and bye to the guitar people tomorrow! =) Have lots and lots of fun!

xx Loved At 4:55 pm
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Saturday, May 24, 2008
Murderous Weather

I have a bad sore throat.
So please don't laugh at my very weird voice.
I can't even register what I'm saying out loud as coming from myself.
Ya, ya, but I suspect I still talk as much.

Sakae buffet was kind of a torture. After all that sushi, 3 plate of gyoza, 2 chawanmushi and the fruits, I swear off Sakae for at least the next 1 whole month, maybe 2 months. And maybe no Japanese food for a week, though I actually have a Waraku craving, so might not last a week. But Sihui, Jom and I had lots of fun "dumping" all the funny stuff we didn't want to eat to maho. fish cake things and funny tasting things, and how Belle, Clara, Rachel and Tristan ate like crazy, I think Tristan ate 17 plates not including dessert. I just realised we talked so much about taking pictures but we didn't take any! We should have taken BEFORE we started eating. Anyway, catching up is always that fun and eating is also fun =) Except the part where we didn't get to play Bishi Bashi.

Singapore is an extremely hot place. We should really consider putting a glass bowl over Singapore (think the Simpson's movie) and make the whole country air-conditioned, except the beaches, parks and whichever parts that should have lots of sun and didn't matter if it's crazily hot. We'll keep the temperature at something nice like 20 degrees and then I wouldn't mind stepping out of the house into sweltering heat, because there won't be sweltering heat! That would be absolutely wonderful. And with this kind of very very hot weather, I really can't make myself do anything except laze around at home, playing cards, shopping online, lying in bed, watching tv, everything except studying and stepping out of the house. Maybe I should go hide in the airport where it's always cold, I don't even feel like going to shop at Orchard because it's plainly hot. Heat is driving me out of my mind.

You had a stupid week, next week will be better! =)

xx Loved At 2:16 pm
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Thursday, May 22, 2008
Can't stand the sight of them.

I'm sorry if this is going to sound mean. But I was actually in some-sort of a happy mood until my mummy came back to Singapore. Now I'm actually irritated and pissed with her. Totally. And then I get dragged in the stupid cross-fire between my brother and her. Sometimes I really hate my life. Really do. Ya, I love the both of them, but now, I just can't stand either of them. I don't feel like being at home or talking to either of them. And I really hate how my mummy tries to over-protect me. For goodness sake, I'm 18. I know 18 is not really old, and you'll probably only deserve lots of freedom when you're 21 but hey, don't go overboard with it. So sick and tired of all this. The world should be a happy place where everyone can do what they want and everyone is still happy.

Go watch Made of Honour. It's really really nice and you'll feel that fairytale endings do happen and you leave the cinema feeling very happy and probably will last for the whole day =) Great Singapore Sale starts tmr, but I'm obviously not in a very good mood anymore since 3 hours ago. I'm going to become a mugger. Try for a while at least.

I still love #13 Michael Ballack! I suspect he's married already =(

xx Loved At 10:49 pm
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Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Forget my last post.

WE'RE NOT GOING DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT.

xx Loved At 8:32 pm
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Tuesday, May 20, 2008
And Then There Were None...

I saw it coming.
But I didn't think so soon.
I thought there was still a chance.
I never did let go.
I'm sorry we got you into this mess.
Because I really regret now.
I thought that was enough.
But it didn't come true.
It slipped through our hands.
It's nothing but lost...

xx Loved At 10:00 pm
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I got...

High just from using my purple pen today! Yes, and I spread the love and made Isabelle and Yi Fong high during lecture too! And I got exploited happily. I copied out the whole list of topics tested for CT2 for belle, and I copied transition metals notes for salyonn, and I opened the door for jenny and all sorts of things because I'm just randomly high! And then I ate the yoghurt ice cream thing today! Banana with oreo with cookies. Then ate haagen daz waffle and ice cream after school and then din tai fung for dinner =) Okay, I promise I will go home for dinner right after the soccer finals tomorrow. I've really been out A LOT. Considering I'll probably spend the whole of Friday out too, and how the weekends always pack themselves full at the last minute. And I'll eat dinner and go home earlier on Thursday also. Be a good girl. I really hope I can wake up on Thursday morning to watch the Champions League match. Please Please Please wake up! Go Chelsea!
Don't assume.

xx Loved At 8:56 pm
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Monday, May 19, 2008
This is so not here not there.

okay. Today again things decided to happen at home, why am I not surprised with more and more outrageous demands leading to unhappy people. But at least I am haha, sane, and happy, not happy with what happened but at least my mood is something like in lala-land. So I went to orchard to shop around and then to kinokuniya and I FINALLY bought my light blue pen that I've been wanting since I saw this girl who sat two rows in front of me during Thursday's or Wednesday's lecture write with it! And along with the light blue pen, me obviously not being able to control myself bought the purple pen that Shermaine asked me to buy yesterday! I almost wanted to buy the red and pink and orange one too but I got stopped, so oh well =) Then went to watch "What happened in Vegas" at Cathay, I so love the Cathay, but it's so not here not there. They should build a bus stop right at the door of the Cathay and build an underpass from the MRT to it. Anyway, then I had Ben and Jerry's, all time lovely cookie dough and tried chocolate brownie (whatever it's called), and I realised how I'm really not a chocolate ice cream person! A little is fine, but one whole scoop is overkill. Oh ya, and I ate macs hotcakes this morning! And I had macs egg mcmuffin on saturday morning! I love macs breakfast, and Burger king's breakfast too, don't ever make me choose between the two, I'll probably end up eating both. Oh ya, and I think the Vegas show is better than Iron man okay? But now I want to watch Made of Honour, and did I mention I spent my whole month's allowance in less then 15 days, and the great singapore sale hasn't totally started. Had to really resist looking at clothes today. Ended up looking at other stuffs, as long as I'm not in a shop that sells stuff that I like. And all of you all are going overseas soon! Left poor me in Singapore! guitar going Japan and CO going hong kong and I'm going to study. haha. Never mind, studying will soon maybe become my hobby or something. One more week before I actually try starting to drive myself crazy =) And I ate Subway 3 times this week. Oops. Okay, Good Night Internet-land!

xx Loved At 9:03 pm
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Saturday, May 17, 2008
Just in a ultra whine-ing mood.

Today is not a good day because everything has started to take a toll on me. I'm tired from going out too much, too late, plus I haven't told the camp people that I want to withdraw from it which will not be very pleasant, I have to go for the stupid competition tmr at T/P/Y which I really really really don't want to go, then because of it I had to train today which was horrible and of all emotions that came to me, it had to be of despair, I should have known that suddenly training after so long would produce lousy results, but I can't control how I feel about it ok, adding to the stupid feeling that I really really don't want to turn up for the competition tmr, I should have followed my gut feeling that time and refuse to agree to go, and my stupid brother who is what-can-I-say, told quite a few of you all already, and he comes up with more and more problems day by day, then within the last 3 days, I talked to more than 3 people who were upset/sad/etc, and then the h/o/c/k/e/y/ g/u/y/s lost, then I haven't did any homework or studied anything, and of course how I failed chem test when everyone passed, it's not that I actually am bothered that I failed because I thought everyone was going to fail too. So little things today affected me more than it should have been and even finding a stupid seat at lagoon was stressful and irritated the hell out of me. And I haven't been sleeping well and I've got no idea why. Okay, suddenly I think my life is horrible, but as I always do, I'll most likely change my mind once I have enough sleep and wake up tomorrow morning and once the stupid competition that brought me so many headaches actually go away. stupid responsibility. stupid idea. waste of my time. I want to scold the f word, but I changed to new tree already, so chill. stupid competition. And I cannot decide about Wednesday, which is another problem. damn.

I know I need sleep.

xx Loved At 11:09 pm
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So,

I eat ice cream twice at 11pm and 2:30am,
sleep at 5am to 11:30am,
finish up my egg mcmuffin at 11:45am,
eat another 2 lian yong pau at 12:15pm,
and now I think I'm going back to sleep.

Guitar concert was very nice =) Lovely to watch all of you darlings play your guitars!

xx Loved At 1:06 pm
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Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Five minutes to midnight

Did N/A/P/F/A today. And right now, my leg muscles are like jelly, and somehow I don't think I want to wake up tomorrow because I can already imagine how painful they will be! 2.4km was super mentally tiring, the rounds seemed longer and longer as you ran and at the 5th round, my mind fought between "I want to give up and run slower" and "Don't be stupid, 2nd last round". In the end got 13.30 minutes or something like that. Everyone got at least a B for 2.4km =) It really feels shit when you finish the run, besides the fact that you're ultra glad that the run is FINALLY over, you probably have one of the following problems: you feel faint, you have stitch, you have cramps, your muscles are super tight, you are mentally exhausted, you feel like puking, your feet are very hot, you are very thirsty. So the feeling ultimately sucks until almost 10 minutes later. Then everyone went to get drinks and I went to eat Cheese Ritz biscuits. Cheese Ritz biscuits are super yummy! And they get snapped up from the vending machine like FAST. It's always disappointing when you see no more Cheese Ritz in the machine for you to buy! Oh ya, and after 5 stations, we went to parkway to drink bubble tea just like our usual after training treat! It doesn't matter that all the pearls we ate probably amounted to more calories we burned doing N/A/P/F/A, who cares! Okay, and I miss training for season. Badly.

Anyway, this week has been and will be a crazy week, and I'm tired already. Monday went to choir concert, then today was N/A/P/F/A, tomorrow will go eat lunch with sher then go watch the s/o/c/c/e/r girls finals at jalan besar, Thursday go watch the volleyball girls finals at tpy, then watch s/o/c/c/e/r semis with vjtt girls followed by guitar concert on Friday! Life is so excitingly tiring. Actually I'm quite excited to see Yi fong fong and Jenny play the guitar! We'll be super kiasu and queue first in line for you two ok! No pressure for the concert and I love you two! (if either of you ever sees this =)

I'm going to sleepy-land to dream about ice cream. Then maybe I'll have time to go get some tomorrow before the s/o/c/c/e/r girls match.

You know you wanna just let go
It's time to roll down the windows
And sing it, oh, oh
Yeah, all we need, so here we go

xx Loved At 9:57 pm
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Sunday, May 11, 2008
If you can let go

Decided to off the tv and stop flipping between two channels to watch soccer. haha. M/a/n/U/t/d can win but at least chel played and was winning the last time I switched to them. And they ZOOMED in on B/a/l/l/a/c/k like super long and so many times :):):) Love B/a/l/l/a/c/k! Going to miss him when season ends then comes the withdrawal with no more soccer to watch =(

A lot of things are actually slipping my mind, like how I remembered only at 6pm that there is a Biology bacteria test tomorrow and I actually forgot to watch the match just now. haha. And do you know that K/F/C's delivery line is very horrible. Was craving for KFC and the line kept remaining engaged! Horrible. So in the end, I had to settle for beef hor fun (which was very yummy too) but it obviously isn't the same as K/F/C's chicken.

Actually, I want to eat a lot of things:
Pink candy floss, pepper lunch, kenny rogers sides and muffin, ice cream!, mud pie, that taka hall prata thing with cheese sausage, sushi, K/F/C chicken, carls junior... okay, I suspect the list is not exhaustive.

I am going to sleepy land. All you M/a/n/U/t/d fans, please don't wake my up from my sleep just to tell me you've won. If you all win, good for you all okay? Off to bed.

xx Loved At 11:38 pm
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Friday, May 09, 2008
Let's not get hysterical.

So I was supposed to go home right after school and take a super long and nice nap but in the end I went with Lilin and Pamela to J/J/C to watch soccer match. We sat in the sun and it felt like we were 3 pigs roasting under the sun, and to add to that, the grandstand was hot to sit on. Then I went to Marina for the second day in a row to shop, this time with my mummy, cousin and her kids. Bought MORE stuff. I promise I'll really stop shopping for now. And arranging NAPFA for the team is driving me crazy soon. Why on earth can't we decide on a day like soon =( And I'll have to go find a mother's day present tomorrow. Have absolutely no idea what to get, which is going to be another problem! Need to brainstorm with my brother tomorrow morning or something. I feel quite sleep deprived and the best part is I that I have no idea why. Oh ya, and I ate subway and 2 kenny rogers corn muffins when Yi fong and I went out on Thursday to de-stress after the stupid chemistry test. It was, what can I say, crazy. My brain felt so dead after the test that I slept through maths lecture =)

xx Loved At 10:43 pm
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Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Run away

It really gets frustrating. Just when I'm super irritated with myself and I can't seem to stuff anymore chem into my head. And then I message 4 people. And it's unbelievable how no one replies me. Where did everyone go to? But since it's like that, I think I shall go sleep and who cares about chem test tmr right.

Stop being so bloody depressed. It's just a stupid test that you didn't study for.

xx Loved At 8:55 pm
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Tuesday, May 06, 2008
To be Hurt.

I finally ate ice cream chef ice cream today. Yes, a bit late but better than never right!

I don't know why but somehow I don't have a very good feeling about something. And I don't even know what is the thing.

Deja vu. Different yet so similar in some ways.
Here we go again...

This song can make me sad in no time at all. But its still nice, and you know that life just really isn't that bad. And now that I have it in my MP3, I repeat it like tons of times whenever I come across it in shuffle mode, like any other song that I love =)

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you

Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

xx Loved At 7:46 pm
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Saturday, May 03, 2008
Repeat after me...

I want to get the L/G K/F/6/0/0.
AND, I want to change my phone line from M1 to Singtel.
BUT, stupid Singtel doesn't sell that phone.
ONLY M1 and Starhub sells it.
SO how now.
Anyway, the phone is really pretty because it's touch screen. Not exactly my colour and not exactly very small but I guess I can overlook that fact. The L/G V/I/E/W/T/Y is really quite thick and I don't need a powerful phone. I just need one which can sms, call and play games. =) play games is an important part.

Oh ya, and the little girls who danced at the dance concert yesterday were cute. they were probably 6 years old or something and they looked sooo tiny!

I've been eating ice cream everyday for the past 2 weeks =)

xx Loved At 5:10 pm
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Thursday, May 01, 2008
GO CHELSEA =)=)

I screamed for my mummy the moment I saw the full extent of my tan (more of burn than tan). And she said is my own fault that I should have been prepared with different shades of tan here and there. My face is almost fine, my shoulders and arms are burnt, my legs are tanned and some patches here and there are not really tanned. And to think I was the one who didn't exactly want a tan, and lilin who wanted it did not exactly get darker! I think going to sentosa is really a eating session. Snacks, soft drinks, slur pee, hot dog, bread, all sorts. I admit that I suspect that I'm getting fatter, hence, I hope that I will make myself go running tmr before going to dance concert. Oh ya, before I forget, must say this, going to Sentosa's beaches on public holidays is NOT a good idea. Because there are a lot of you-know-whats. I have nothing against them, except that they look at you all over and give very pervert looks (said by lilin), and some of them actually went to swim in the sea in their erm, underwear (not swimming stuff, I seriously mean underwear), and to add on to that, it wasn't very hmm, what do you call that, fitting? Bottom line was that it was gross. Ya, and they take videos and photos of people at the beach. Like what on earth!

Anyway, chel won l/i/v/e/r/p/o/o/l! the match was really scary. The first l/i/v/e/r/p/o/o/l goal devastated me. haha. Ballack is wonderful as usual, just that he didn't shave and he looked like a rugged looking don't know what =( Extra time was scary okay. Although chel has the best goalkeeper in the world, still better to win without playing penalties right! so yay! love chel! Another m/a/n/u/n/i/t/e/d versus chel match. And guess who's going to win AGAIN =)=)

THERE IS SCHOOL TMR. and my mummy refuses to write anymore parent letters to let me pon school because she said "It's against my morals." in a very matter-of-fact way. The future looks bleak. haha. But I only didn't go school on wed because sports day is a waste of time and I only had 2 periods of tutorials that day! And I actually went to air port to study ok! =) I bet tons of people didn't go school and sports day either!

And you know I haven't figured where to put the A'div medals. So they're just sitting on my table and getting piled upon by my worksheets. Poor medals. I think what matters was that we won 3rd, and not the medals =) The medals are just keep-sakes of our victories. Still happy whenever I think about season =)

here we go again.

xx Loved At 7:20 pm
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