It's a dirty free for all

Friday, March 14, 2008
Not seeing you

I don't know what to say since and many things I'm thinking about must never be told to anyone. Maybe not everyone, but probably only 2 other people will ever hear about all these.

Realised that my mood is controlled just like homeostasis. Once I actually identify that I'm not happy, I almost immediately make concessions to myself like buying lots of gummies (since it wouldn't make sense if I have a lot of money but am not happy) from mini toons and eating all of them, lying in bed for 5 hours, reading chick lit, take extremely hot baths, and walk around the house wearing my extremely big orientation tee without shorts. (shorts are not as comfortable to wear to sleep as not wearing no shorts okay.. bad habit since young) I plainly go-all-out satisfy my every whim and fancy. Until my mood is much happier. Sounds like negative feedback mechanism ya?

And we're not training tmr. which I haven't figured out whether is good or not good. But means I can go out tmr! *I sound happier already*

I almost got killed yesterday night. And if I did, I would not even have known why I died okay. That tragic. Bought new earphones (or whatever it's called) and it really blocks out sounds even better than my previous one. Carmen, pamela and I actually bought the same ones in different colours. Was walking home listening to my MP3 player happily since I can finally hear music from both sides. While I was walking to cross the road (small one), somehow it never occurred to me to watch out for cars, and I happily crossed the road just like that. And there was some person in front of me actually, but he stopped at the curb and I was actually still thinking why he was so weird to stop at the roadside! When I kind of reached the other side of the road, something told me to turn back and I saw this van stopped right at the place where I was 5 moments ago and the driver and the person both looked shocked. That was when I realised I could have just died and wouldn't have realised how come I died. And when I told you all this morning you all still so happy imagining how I would be after I died and how heaven was going to be like. haha. But I calmly (it was all a pretence) walked away from the roadside and continued going home!

MUST CURB SPENDING. Bought 3 chick lit books (what-else? haha) from borders, ate pepper lunch for dinner, bought earphones, a top from fox, all in the space of 4 hours. Not the worse, but its not supposed to continue since I just claimed $150 from my mummy for shopping and eating and now I need to claim another $100. I actually feel guilty since I'm always in the red regarding my pocket money. I really wonder how am I going to survive when I start earning my own money. Bad thought. And mango and times can't remember where is having a sale. I'm so going to drag my ass there this weekend. And amazing as it is, I've stopped shopping online, I've become a lazy bum who is too lazy to even look through the pictures on the websites. =)

And I miss my mummy, I've been so busy sorting out stuff, training, eating, sleeping, watching tv, going out, that I haven't talked to my mummy for ages. my mummy is like my friend. yes, I actually tell her all the stupid things you all do =)

xx Loved At 8:55 pm
0 comments

0 Comments: